MY VIPASSANA EXPERIENCE (15th jan-26th
jan, 2014)
15 jan' 14-
I get out of my house at around 12 with a heavy head after a
disturbed sleep last night due to anxiety with just a single bag on my
shoulders loading my modest needs. No wonder many people like me were standing
at the pickup point in groups with baggage’s carrying clothes and other
accessories for the isolated voyage of 10 days. I chatted with few people and
was relaxed to know that all were freshers. People came from diverse
backgrounds and were from age group of 17-70.We were all nervous especially
thinking about the rule of "No talking or looking at each other for 10
days", which actually worried the girls more so they were continuously
flapping as if it was their last chance to talk and somehow even the males
didn't miss the opportunity. Bus arrived at 4.30 and we set our self for the
ultimate safari towards inner peace in the midst of this loud mind full of thoughts.
Inside the bus most of the people were quiet as if mentally preparing them self
to be bold and face the fear and take-up this challenge, few were talking to
the most loved contacts on their cell phone because they knew it’s going to be
10 days without any gadget, they all echoed "acha se rehna,mumy ka khyal
rakhna,ye wala kaam kardena,meri uss cheez ko mat touch karna and all"
while a few also made their folks on social sites worry about them for 10days
by posting status of bid adieu. Going away from home is no big deal because
mobile helps us to be in touch, but living even a day without any communication
is like being kidnapped with nothing to keep us busy and this was a 10 days
isolation so it was obvious for people to prepare. I was an exception because
fortunately i didn’t have any gadget or phone. After a 1.30hr trip from a loud
city like Delhi we reached the Vipassana centre(dhamma sota)situated near a
small place called rahaka(nimod police post) in sohna(dist.gurgaon). The
journey embarked picturesque landscape with arravali hills in the background. Usually
such centres are away from cities or towns in a silent serene place. Such was
the gravity of that place that somehow we knew it was a peaceful place.
On reaching we all
gathered at the reception where volunteers welcomed us and instructed us to
read a booklet containing code of discipline and rules. After 15mins we were again
made to fill a registration form and then at the reception a volunteer went
through my form and asked-"iss umar mai iski kya jarurat pad gayi"(i
was like what the heck is he saying, are they going to do something unusual to
me or am i really small for such a thing). He then politely allotted me a room
no. and seat no. for acquiring the aasan in meditation hall. Every student gets
a separate room with separate bathroom. I went to my room and was surprised to
the cleanliness of the room. It was a small room with a shelf, a bed good
enough to sleep and a big window which was actually like a giant 45" T.V
because outside the window one would always see peacocks, monkeys, birds and
plush greenery.
Day 0(15/01/14)- later
that evening we submitted all gadgets
and reading material and were just able to keep
the clothes and basic amenities like brush, shampoo etc with ourself. We then went to the mess to have a little
breakfast of yummy khichdi and fruits. Mess was neatly maintained and posh, it
had a big rack in which you have your plates in the same shelf as your room
number , you have to take out your plates- have food and then yourself wash
them and put it back only to be taken out by you the next time you eat so it’s
always your plate for the rest 10days, and the mess is designed in such a way
that you don’t face anyone. It’s buffet
system .The food is pure vegetarian and made with lots of love and compassion. I
won’t over-rate it but it’s by far the most delicious and tasty food i have
ever tasted in my life. It will be 10,000,000 times better than the best you
will ever have at a 7star hotel. later that day we were again made to listen to
the instructions and then guided to the main meditation hall which had two male
teachers and two female teachers who look so simple but the moment they start
talking in different languages ranging from high profile English to simple yet clean
Hindi language then you understand that you are in presence of some
extra-ordinary people, they are all highly qualified and educated people. My
both teachers were retired Brigadier with shinning sun brightness on their face.
Meditation hall (Dhamma hall) is the only place where male and female sit
together as the residential quarters for both male and female are different
thus the campus is divided into two parts. In the meditation hall we use to
workout according to the audio tapes played time after time in the voice of SN
Goenka ji. later every evening from 7-8.30pm a video tape was played in which
this genius great man(SN Goenka) use to tell us what we did today and what we
will be doing tomorrow with wonderful examples and in a very relaxed and sweet
manner along with reason/logic behind
everything we did. He even made us laugh. He is really sweet and watching him
for 1.30 hr every evening from 7-8.30pm was like recharging your body to meditate
again the next day. He explains spirituality so easily that anyone can relate
to and what do i say about his English. its just flows like a river. Superb
sense of humour.
This use to be our time
table from Day1.
4:00
a.m. Morning wake-up bell
4:30 .
6:30 a.m. Meditate in the
hall or in your room
6:30 .
8:00 a.m. Breakfast break
8:00 .
9:00 a.m. Group
meditation in the hall
9:00 .
11:00 a.m Meditate in the hall or in your room as teacher
instructs.
11:00.12
noon Lunch break
12:00.1:00
p.m. Rest, and interviews with the
teacher
1:00 .
2:30 p.m. Meditate in the
hall or in your room
2:30 .
3:30 p.m. Group
meditation in the hall
3:30 .
5:00 p.m. Meditate in the
hall or in your room as teacher instructs.
5:00 .
6:00 p.m. Tea break
6:00 .
7:00 p.m. Group
meditation in the hall
7:00 .
8:15 p.m. Teacher’s
discourse in the hall
8:15 .
9:00 p.m. Group
meditation in the hall
9:00 .
9:30 p.m. Question time
in the hall
9:30 p.m. Retire to your room; lights out
Day 1,Day 2,Day3-
These 3 days we were taught a technique called Anapana which
is to observe you natural breath as it comes and goes without uttering anything
or even controlling your breath, just observing it. Because i had no earlier
experience of meditation so it was very difficult for me to even sit
cross-legged for 15mints, so i had thoughts of running away from that place. i
got very frustrated for the first 3 days. I was like “am i a fool who opted to
spend his holidays here and made to foolishly watch his own breath” .Fortunately
all these thoughts were proved wrong on 10th day eventually making
me feel the best spent 10days of my life. I use to wake up early at 4 but it
was like forcing my body to get up, my body resisted it for a few days but
later it’s so amazing that our body adjusts so rapidly according to the conditions.
Every odd day we had personal counselling i.e. the teacher will call your name
and talk to you and solve your problems if you have any and also meditate with
you personally for a short while. They are very frank and you can be as open as
possible with them, the more you open up the more it is of help. In these 3
days I realised how uncontrollable our brain is. It’s always thinking about the
past or evaluating the future in which we miss living in present. it would get
very difficult for me to concentrate or rather focus on my breathe because of
the usual routine of my mind to always keep thinking about something or the
other so i struggled to have that equanimous state of mind but i was happy for
the change i was undertaking.
As its famously said “Our brain is like that of a monkey’s
which has been bitten by a scorpion and its tail is on fire!”.
There were a few funny moments as well when someone would
suddenly doze off and snore loudly. :) , Few people because of a bad stomach farted
like hell in that silent hall and i would burst badly due to laughter going in
the washroom. It still makes me laugh till tears. Another funny moment was when
we would listen to SN Goenka in audio tapes as he sings pali and hindi hymns
through nose, it sounds very very funny.
He does nasal singing that is singing from the nose.lol....i was like Oh god!
how the heck will i meditate listening to him but few days later you adapt to
it and then it becomes fine. Every now and then i use to look at the clock and
think “aur kitni time tak bethna hai, yaar koi to bell bajado(a temple type
bell is the signal that the session is over)” . Many a times i myself had this
peak urge to go and ring the bell relieving me and the ailing rest people from
that hard job which ironically was to simply observe the natural breath, on the
10th day i got to know from people that everyone had the same urge.
:)
Day 4,5,6,7,8 & Day 9-
They teach you Vipassana on the 4th day which is simply observing
the sensations that automatically arise on your body and not reacting to it
while realizing that everything around us has a nature of impermanence(in Hindi
its like sab kuch anitya hai,nashvar hai bhangur hai). It seems very simple but
it’s very challenging to keep the body stiff for 10hours daily! Though there is
a frequent 5 mint break after every session.
We first start observing sensations from the area around our
nose and then move over head and then keep on moving our attention from head to
toe and toe to head. There are a few more things that happen but if i tell them
to you now, you will be confused and won’t understand much. In between these 5
days I had some very nice experiences. I once even meditated for complete one
hour without moving any part of my body. I loved it!. Much to my surprise i was
loving every bit of my stay there after the 4th day. While a few
people left because they lacked patience and it isn’t easy as they won’t leave
you unless you make some baby reasons to get out. Still Through all these days
everyone wanted to give their 100% so we use to all change our legs, sometimes
stretch and bend to make the body free from aches. It was like everyone was
taking and giving energy to one another to have and give their best. Normally
such places have enormous amount of positive energy which you feel from day 1
itself.
On day 7 everyone is allotted a special meditation cell in
the beautiful dome structure called pagoda which has many individual cells in
it like small cubical rooms where you can meditate as long as you want without
any disturbance. They are also called shunya-ghaar’s. All Vipassana centres
across the world have a pagoda. It’s very silent inside as now any noise which
otherwise came in the main meditation hall is eliminated. It’s really silent and peaceful there.
Many a times despondency came but those video tapes in the
evening were like boosters. I use to even talk with the teachers and sometimes
the volunteers. it was very touching to realize that they were ready to help
you in every way possible. It was an incredible goodwill gesture. They all just
want to see you happy when you go from there and that too without any greed or
trace of any reason. I learned from there to be compassionate towards every
being which eventually led to seriously ban myself from eating any form of
non-veg ever again. I also learned to help anyone in need unconditionally
without a second thought of getting anything in return.
Day 10- This day is always the most important day at
vipassana. This day we were taught compassion and the way of loving friendship.
This day we also break the noble silence after the 9-10am meditation and trust
me when you talk that day and hear your own voice for the first time after 10
days, it ‘s a feeling of humongous happiness, you feel like a kid having keys
to a Ferrari. I was on cloud 9.I was literally in heaven. I was so happy so
happy that I can’t tell you how I was feeling not because I was again able to
talk but because i could really feel what peace meant and what happiness meant.
That feeling is unbelievable , you are happy for no reason. I mean i don’t know
how should i give words to it kyuki words ki bhi apni limitations hoti hai. In
my entire life of 19 yrs i was never ever that happy and for no reason. It was
an incredible feeling. I realized how loud and myriad is this world and its
urgent of equipoise. Everyone was happy and giving positive vibes. We all
talked to each other, hugged and shared our experiences, few even cried out of
happiness. Later that noon we were handed over our submitted materials .Then
our teachers shared their cell numbers and e-mail id so we could contact them
in future. it was a great day. Mai dil se chahta hu ki iss duniya k har insaan
ko vaisi feeling har second ho. I really wish every one in this world should
attend this 10day vipassana course. Mera koi kisi janam ka punya hoga k i got
this heavenly chance to attend the course. In more ways than one it has opened
my eyes and realise the truth of life. On 10th day we could talk to
each other even in the mess so it was a jovial environment there and everyone
had lovely candour behaviour. I loved every single person there right from the
cooks to the sevaks(volunteer) to the people which ranged from moneywise poor
to the top executives. It was fabulous to see everyone with a rejuvenated mojo
on their face while departing unlike the lot of nervous faces we had on
arrival. :) . Waow it was really great. I later slept at 9.30 as usual only to
wake for the last meditation session tomorrow morning from 4-6.30.
Day 11(last day)-
Today was 26th
January(65th republic day of India)-we attended our last session and
then after a yummy shot of breakfast and exchanging numbers and emails we
packed our bags and gathered outside where we were again back to this world
after 10days.i really felt nice in simple watching the tarmac road. Everyone
was happy like child gets when he gets his most desired toy. People who wanted
to donate donated and others promised to donate next time but not even a single
time any person forced,pressurized or even said a word to give or donate money in
return for what they did for us. It was an amazing show of selfless service. I
was in shock at their service and loyality. The way they treat you like god. Those
people are really sweet. Though i am very soon going to donate for such a cause
so that next some other student might benefit from my money as these courses
are run by the donations given by old students and there is no any organization
or single wealthy person funding them. Even if you can’t pay them they will still
be happy for you afterall they all do this because they want you to return
happy after 10days. They accept donations from 10rs to anything you are capable
of. later a very generous Bengali uncle gave me a lift in his car till my home
as he was leaving the centre. On reaching home my family had left for india
gate to witness the parade and trust me the moment i reached home i started
shouting,hooting and laughing to myself looking in the mirror. My body was
automatically sending vibes of happiness and i was like waow! It just felt so
amazing to simply breathe. I am so glad so glad that i attended this 10days
course. May everyone on this planet gets a chance to attend one of these.
Conclusion- By far the best experience of my life. One of
the many changes i have had in my self is that i am a strict vegan now, i will
never eat non-veg again in life. I am no more an atheist. Though i may not be
practising even 20% of what they taught there but now i atleast have a
direction to head in my life. I know ways to keep myself cool in most of the situations.
I am meditating daily for some time and it feels so refreshed. My concentration
has increased and i am comparatively living more in present unlike in past. I
now think good for everyone and my ego whatever little it was even before this
course is only in traces right now. Some changes are so deep and minute that i
don’t have words to phrase them here. Problems are inevitable and so they will
surely arise but now i have begun to be more stable in them. You can ask my mom
who earlier feared me going there to become sanyasi(lol) but i have returned
only to be a better son. In one sentence-“problems are inevitable but suffering is optional”
LOVE YOU ALL,
HAVE A GREAT LIFE.
ULHAS SAKHARE.
